An honest take on life and parenthood

I need a diaper change.

on May 15, 2012

You read that correctly. I need a diaper change.

So does the Pooh. But mine is bigger. Mine is a mental diaper change.

Here’s the situation: the Pooh’s father does not change diapers, especially poopy diapers. I imagine that many of you are gasping in horror and disbelief right now. And some of you – and I know for a fact you are out there – are quietly nodding your heads in recognition.

Some people believe that these kinds of guys went extinct in the 1960’s, but I am here to assure you that they are here. You just don’t know about them, because they are only discussed in low whispers, carefully camoflaged by their wives.

Even before we had children, he told me that he did not change diapers. I, being a typical modern woman, listened and thought that I could change that. After all, once the child came along, sometimes he would just have to change the diaper, no? After all, this is 2012, not 1912.

What a freaking fool I was.

Now, to be fair to him, he has changed some diapers in his time. I do believe that it is about 8.5. The half is for a few that I have had to take over from him. He did it a few times because he had to, and a few times because the Pooh insisted that he have the honors. He couldn’t exactly argue with that.

Now that the Pooh is 28 months old, I calculate that I have changed, oh, let’s do some quick arithmetic: Roughly 5 diapers a day X 30 days/month X 28 months = 4200 diapers. Whoa. I never made that calculation before. I’ll be damned.

Anyway, back to the subject. He didn’t want to change her diaper tonight, because he had a really terrible day at work…because I am so much better at it…because I am so much faster at it.

And as we stand and argue and go back and forth, the Pooh begs to have her diaper changed.

Smart guy that he is, he knows that I cannot stand to have my child in distress or discomfort. So I stop what I am doing (because I am always doing something) and change her.

Here is what chaps me about it: Children do not stop pooping, peeing, crying, or needing food just because you had a terrible day, or no sleep, or got in a tiff with your boss. No. They just need you, because they are too little to take care of themselves. When you become a parent, that is what you sign up for. There have been countless days when my body ached from tiredness, or when I wanted to cry from overwhelming stress, but you know what? Neglecting her was not an option. I always fed her, changed her, bathed her, and made sure she was well cared for.

And the more often you do something, the more efficient you become. Hence, once you change thousands of diapers, you become pretty dang fast. One, two, three, done.

Now, as I roll this ugly nut of resentment around in my mental hand, I realize that I have a choice. Three, actually. One, I can continue to let this play out as it always has and nurse the nut, which will later grow into something bigger. Two, I can negotiate some kind of trade with him, continue to change the diaper, and let go of the nut for good and accept the trade off. Or three – my preferred path – address it with him directly after I cool off, and see if we can come to a workable arrangement that does not leave the Pooh neglected or me totally pissed off.

I will keep you posted. Man, I can’t wait to have this diaper changed.

3 responses to “I need a diaper change.

  1. Nisha says:

    Find a reason to travel. Daddy time with daughter for the weekend. Mom’s reunion with the girls or something like that. He will have to figure out the diaper situation then. If you’re really lucky tho, you will come back on sunday evening to find that the Pooh has been potty trained!


  2. KH2 says:

    WHAT? He needs to take his turn. None of us ‘like’ it. I agree that you need a weekend away and he’d just figure it out.


  3. Thanks for your thoughts on the diaper issue, ladies. I talked to him about it once I had cooled off, and he now is changing the diapers without asking me to do it. Granted, he has asked for help with the especially messy ones, but at least he is now just taking care of it. He’s an old dog, but I think he realizes that he needs to learn some new tricks if he doesn’t want to end up in the doghouse forever. That said, I think some travel for business or fun would be a perfect item to put on my agenda.


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