An honest take on life and parenthood

Pooh’s Pizza Parlor

on April 17, 2015

The Pooh decided to stage her own pizza restaurant on Sunday, and she invited me and her daddy to be customers.

She chose our dining room to be the restaurant, since she did not think our eat-in kitchen was fancy enough. She insisted on closing the curtains in the room.

“Restaurants are dark, Mommy,” she said.

The Pooh arranged three fake plants on the table, and then went into her dish drawer and pulled out plastic plates. She set the table with silverware and napkins. She gave me a Cinderella cup and her daddy a Frozen light up cup.

I found an LED tea light from Halloween, and switched it on for mood lighting.


Then she planned the menu, which follows:



Chocolate pyramids (those are Hershey’s kisses to you and me)


Pineapple and mashed potatoes pizza

Macaroni and cheese with ham pizza

Grilled cheese and ham pizza (this is just after Easter, when she fell in love with ham)

Orange and apple pizza

Soup and buttersquash pizza (yes, you read that correctly, buttersquash, not butternut squash)

Basil and flour pizza





Ice cream with chocolate syrup

After determining the menu, she and I made real pizza. I found an easy recipe in one of my cookbooks for pizza dough, and while it was definitely stickier than I anticipated, she had a great time making a face on top in cheese, black olives, and penne pasta.


I slid her pizza into the oven, and while it baked, she invited me and her daddy to take our seats in her restaurant.

Using a small pink Hello Kitty spiral notebook and a pen, she asked for our orders and scribbled them down in her pad.


Her daddy asked for the pineapple and mashed potatoes pizza along with the grilled cheese and ham pizza. I also wanted the pineapple and mashed potato pizza, and thought the soup and buttersquash pizza sounded interesting.

When I tried to change my order so that it would be different from her father’s, she whispered fiercely, “Mommy, it’s ok to order the same thing as Daddy!”

Alrighty then. Might as well have what I wanted!

She asked for our drink orders. I had gotten up to check on dinner, so I helped her fill her daddy’s glass with filtered water, switching on the light at the bottom of the cup so that it flashed as she served it. It’s those extra touches that make a restaurant memorable, you know.

I sat back down at the table at her insistence, and she asked me for my drink order.

Since she couldn’t reach the water pitcher in the refrigerator without my help, I asked for tap water from the bathroom sink. Concerned that the water would not be cold enough, she offered to put ice cubes in it, and asked me to specify the number. I agreed to two ice cubes.

I heard her scamper off with the Cinderella cup and fill it in the bathroom, and then I heard the freezer drawer opening and the plopping of ice cubes in the cup.

She brought it back and asked me to taste it and tell her if it was cold enough. It was, and she was pleased with her excellent service.

She brought us our pretend food, and we enjoyed it immensely. I had to admit that the romantic setting of closed curtains and a tea light enhanced our dining experience.

As the pizza continued to bake, she entertained us with a ballet performance of Swan Lake in the hallway. She wiped out a couple of times on the hardwood floor as she twirled and jumped to her own choreography, but as every seasoned performer knows, you just keep on dancing, and she did.


She then treated us to a piano concert of the six songs I had taught her so far.


The oven timer rang and the pizza was done, which was fortunate, since our waitress was starving. She took a break and devoured three pieces, exclaiming how good it was.

Once she was finished, she jumped up again, remembering that we needed dessert.

I ordered an imaginary tangerine popsicle for dessert and her daddy ordered the ice cream. She also brought me two new ice cubes for my drink, which I didn’t even have to request. What service!

She then cleared up the plates.

Best of all, there was no bill.

She thanked us for coming to her pizza restaurant and we had some chocolate pyramids on the way out.

Now that is what I call fine dining.

Our charming chef, waitress, entertainer, and proprietor, Ms. Pooh

Our chef, waitress, entertainer, and proprietor, Ms. Pooh. “Y’all come back, now, ya hear?”

EPILOGUE: This restaurant review has gone viral, and business is booming. Reservations strongly recommended.


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